FOCUSED
on bringing clarity to the therapeutic experience the C.E.M.E. Model © is a conceptual tool aimed at securing the intimate attachment in relationships. It accomplishes this by establishing clear communication patterns, empathic alignments, the habits
of mindfulness, and effective effort. The C.E.M.E.Model © regards each of these as interdependent pieces of a whole. Treating relationship based issues in this way allows for more effective deconstruction, problem solving, and understanding. By determining if the issue(s) are related to a breakdown in communication, a lack of empathic connectivity & understanding, mindlessness (thoughtless emotional reactivity), or sabotaging behaviors & resistance (effort) we can use targeted interventions to interrupt dysfunctional patterns and beliefs & give the couple what they need to reinforce effective lasting change, trust, and secure levels of intimacy.
Communication:
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Feedback loops (Verbal and Non-Verbal)
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Styles of Communication (Passive, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, & Assertive )
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Sender & Reciever skills
Empathy:
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Attachment styles (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, & Disorganized)
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Underlying Assumptions and Judgments
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Core Belief’s (Self - Partner - Relationship)
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Suffering (Individual & Collective)
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Realistic and Resonable Expectations
Mindfulness:
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Observable Awareness (External & Internal)
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Riding out strong and intense emotions
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Deconstruction
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Personal Accountability
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Openness to new information
Effort:
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Desire
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Follow through
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Pro-Active Persistence
Intimate Conflict...
much like the ocean is deep & powerful, intense & at times shallow. It can be dangerous with lots of surfacing issues to manage. However, if
navigated properly with respect & humility it can be calm and bountiful. Effectively managing the negative feelings, beliefs, and intensity associated with intimate conflict is the foundation for connectedness & safety with your partner. Supporting what I believe to be a secure attachment between people. This is the purpose I see in conflict. If perceived correctly conflict serves us like a compass, helping couples chart a course through the
perpetual issues they experiences with clarity, meaning, & purpose. It does this by providing the information needed to correctly identify &
understand what the real problem is, reinforcing the empathic alliance, & creating effective plans for resolution & followthrough. This is how intimate conflict helps us all to be stronger advocates for ourselves & effectively support the people we love.
Here you see the C.E.M.E. Relationship Model © represented as a triangle, constructed by 4 individual
triangles, encapsulated by a green circle. Communication (Blue) and Empathy (Yellow) make up the foundation of the triangle. Mindfulness (White) inverted provides balance & creates a solid platform
for effort (Red). The Circle (green) reminds us which areas of the relationship to routinely focus on (Friendship, Partnership, & Romance).
