on bringing clarity to the therapeutic experience the C.E.M.E. Model © is a conceptual tool aimed at securing the intimate attachment in relationships.  It accomplishes this by establishing clear communication patterns, empathic alignments, the habits

of mindfulness, and effective effort.  The C.E.M.E.Model © regards each of these as interdependent pieces of a whole.  Treating relationship based issues in this way allows for more effective deconstruction, problem solving, and understanding.  By determining if the issue(s) are related to a breakdown in communication, a lack of empathic connectivity & understanding, mindlessness (thoughtless emotional reactivity), or sabotaging behaviors & resistance (effort) we can use targeted interventions to interrupt dysfunctional patterns and beliefs & give the couple what they need to reinforce effective lasting change, trust, and secure levels of intimacy.   

  1. Feedback loops (Verbal and Non-Verbal) 
  2. Styles of Communication (Passive, Passive-Aggressive, Aggressive, & Assertive )
  3. Sender & Receiver skills


  1.  Attachment styles                                              (Secure, Anxious,  Avoidant, & Disorganized)

  2.  Underlying Assumptions and Judgments 

  3.  Core Belief’s (Self - Partner - Relationship)

  4.  Suffering (Individual & Collective)

  5.  Realistic and Resonable Expectations



  1.  Observable Awareness (External & Internal)

  2.  Riding out strong and intense emotions 

  3.  Deconstruction  

  4.  Personal Accountability  

  5.  Openness to new information



  1.  Desire

  2.  Follow through 

  3.  Pro-Active Persistence

Intimate Conflict... 

much like the ocean is deep & powerful, intense & at times shallow. It can be dangerous with lots of surfacing issues to manage. However, if 

navigated properly with respect & humility it can be calm and bountiful. Effectively managing the negative feelings, beliefs, and intensity associated with intimate conflict is the foundation for connectedness & safety with your partner.  Supporting what I believe to be a secure attachment between people. This is the purpose I see in conflict.  If perceived correctly conflict serves us like a compass, helping couples chart a course through the 

perpetual issues they experiences with clarity, meaning, & purpose. It does this by providing the information needed to correctly identify & 

understand what the real problem is, reinforcing the empathic alliance, & creating effective plans for resolution & followthrough. This is how intimate conflict helps us all to be stronger advocates for ourselves & effectively support the people we love.

Here you see the C.E.M.E. Relationship Model © represented as a triangle, constructed by 4 individual 

triangles, encapsulated by a green circle.  Communication (Blue) and Empathy (Yellow) make up the foundation of the triangle.  Mindfulness (White) inverted provides balance & creates a solid platform

for effort (Red). The Circle (green) reminds us which areas of the relationship to routinely focus on (Friendship, Partnership, & Romance).

Structural REBUS